為何中國男人都無法結婚?

目前中國有超過一億的單身女性，許多人都在討論為什麼結婚變得如此困難。雖然少子化是其中一個原因，但如果問男性，他們會告訴你他們並不是不想結婚，而是無法負擔結婚的費用。

主要原因之一是現今社會風氣的不正確。許多家庭為嫁女兒，要求男方支付高額的彩禮，通常介於200到300萬人民幣之間。更誇張的是，結婚當天，有些男方還必須支付高達100萬人民幣的下轎費用，否則女方就馬上離開，不給男方任何面子。

還有一些丈母娘在收到彩禮後會坐地起價，在婚禮現場馬上要求男方再支付200萬人民幣，否則就要帶走女兒。其中有一個案例，男方當場跪求丈母娘不要這樣，跟女兒是真心相愛，戀愛談七年了。男方已經支付相當龐大的彩禮60萬人民幣，無法再支付更多，這些錢是父母賣房湊出來的。

而婚禮方面，女方已經要求開辦30桌椅以上宴席，也是男方支付所有費用。丈母娘根本不在乎男方花費多少錢，在現場告訴女兒這個男人不值得，因為他愛錢勝過愛她。女兒似乎也認同這種想法，跟著媽媽離開婚禮現場。

現在的彩禮已經被濫用成為一種買賣，幾乎就像古代的買賣妓女一樣是金錢交換。許多家庭借結婚之機，詐騙男方財物。彩禮本應只是象徵意義，用以感謝女方家庭的撫養之恩，不應該被操作成詐騙的工具。然而，一些女人被灌輸一種觀念，認為彩禮的多寡代表未來婚姻的幸福指數和對方的重視程度。如果這是真的，那麼為何那些嫁入豪門的女人離婚率居高不下呢？豪門給的彩禮應該相當豐厚，但這些女性的婚姻是否真的幸福呢？

許多女人在結婚之前列出一長串彩禮清單，明確規定丈夫應該做什麼，以及彩禮的金額。這種行為就像是在提出一連串的許願清單，而幾乎沒有正常的男人可以應付所有這些要求。即使完全滿足女方的需求，結婚後的所有開銷也通常由男性負擔。這也是為什麼現在亞洲的社會風氣如此敗壞，不僅大家不願意結婚，就算結婚的情況下，出生率也極低。許多亞洲男性現在都傾向去東南亞國家尋找另一半，因為那裡的女性要求彩禮金額相對較低，通常也不會要求男方買房子給她們或者支付其他高額費用。

以前認識的一位台灣長輩為例，他在25年前娶一位大陸農村的女性。當時他幫她爸媽在農村買一套價值約65萬台幣的房子。如今，若想要追求一線城市的女性，至少需要為她購置一套房子，同時自己還要有一套。所以北上廣的女性通常會優先選擇當地的男性，而不考慮農村來的小夥子，除非他們像馬雲那樣非常富有。

Title: The Challenges of Marriage for Chinese Men: Financial Pressures and Changing Customs

Why can't Chinese men get married?

Currently, China has over a hundred million single women, and many are discussing why marriage has become so challenging. While declining birth rates are one reason, asking men reveals that it's not a lack of desire to marry but an inability to afford the costs associated with marriage.

One of the main reasons is the distorted social customs prevalent today. Many families, seeking husbands for their daughters, demand hefty dowries ranging from 2 to 3 million RMB. To add to the absurdity, some grooms are expected to pay up to a million RMB in "bridal sedan" fees on the wedding day, or the bride will promptly leave, causing considerable embarrassment to the groom.

In some cases, after receiving the dowry, the bride's family may arbitrarily raise the price at the wedding, demanding an additional 2 million RMB from the groom, threatening to take the daughter away if not paid. In one instance, despite the groom's sincere plea that they genuinely loved each other after seven years of dating, and having already paid a substantial dowry of 600,000 RMB, he couldn't afford more. The money his parents raised by selling their house wasn't enough.

Regarding the wedding itself, the bride's family often demands the groom to cover all expenses for banquets with 30 tables or more. The mother-in-law seems to care little about the groom's financial strain, openly telling her daughter at the ceremony that the man isn't worth it because he values money over her. The daughter seems to share this sentiment, leaving the wedding venue with her mother.

Nowadays, dowries have been abused, turned into a transaction akin to buying and selling. Many families exploit the opportunity of marriage to defraud the groom of his assets. Dowries were intended to be symbolic, expressing gratitude for the care provided by the bride's family, and should not be manipulated into an instrument for fraud. However, some women have been instilled with the belief that the size of the dowry represents the happiness index and the level of importance their future spouse places on them. If this were true, why do women who marry into wealthy families have such high divorce rates? Wealthy families provide substantial dowries, yet are these women genuinely happy in their marriages?

Many women create extensive dowry lists before marriage, specifying what the husband should do and the amount of the dowry. This behavior is akin to presenting a wish list, and hardly any normal man can fulfill all these requests. Even if a man completely satisfies the woman's demands, all subsequent expenses after marriage are typically borne by the man. This is why society in Asia is in such a sorry state, with people unwilling to marry and, in the case of marriage, extremely low birth rates. Many Asian men now prefer to find partners in Southeast Asian countries, where women request comparatively lower dowry amounts and usually don't demand the man to buy them a house or cover other high expenses.

As an example, a Taiwanese acquaintance of mine married a woman from rural China 25 years ago. At that time, he helped her parents buy a house in the village worth about 650,000 TWD. Now, to pursue women in first-tier cities, one would need to buy parent from bride side a house and have another one for the bride. Hence, women in cities like Beijing, Shanghai, or Guangzhou often prioritize local men, not considering suitors from rural areas unless they are extremely wealthy, like Jack Ma from Alibaba.